| Soooo things are good |
[Feb. 24th, 2006|05:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | VH1 | ] |
There is such a thing as a good breakup and I 've had one! And it's amazing! |
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| Just because I don't want to call you does no mean you can feel that way about me! |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|06:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rent | ] |
Am I turning into a possessive girlfriend? I just might be. He's been gone for two days without a call. I mean I would like to know he hasn't died on the slopes or something. I better not joke.
I have been so lazy today. I just need to get my but moving and work on my audition stuff. But I can't seem to get motivated. Too many other things are running through my head. I can handle this though. Last semester was way to stressful and I need to calm down a bit this time. I'm hoping that happens though I am really thinking my calm days are over for good. There is always something new looming ahead of me. But I like it I think. I'm feeling better then yesterday although I know something is still missing. I'm going out with Megan and Ashlee so that should be fun. It will be fun! I need something exciting. Maybe something will happen tonight! I sound like a hopeless teenager when I say that. It reminds me of how turning 16. I thought it would be this amazing and exciting day full of....actually I have no idea but it was supposed to be great! It was horrible. I just sat there and waited to feel older but nothing had changed. And I guess where I'm going with this is that things don't change when your waiting. Or hoping they will. This is random.
The place where I wrote all the boys I liked on my window is gone. I just noticed. We got new windows this fall and it's covered up. Except for a little T for Tim. I hope that’s not a sign. I got really sad that it was gone. I just always imagined the next people who owned this house having a girl and she would look at it and wonder what the hell someone meant but writing this on the window. She would have no idea it gave us so many laughs! But maybe because it's mostly covered it will be there forever. Wow I am being really ridiculous about this. I'm not really serious but I was kinda sad when I saw it was covered. As everyone knows change makes me kinda sad. But I am getting better at it
Sorry this is all bull shit and should be ignored! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|11:24 am] |
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Am I really happy with everything right now? I am not really sure |
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| I worry about the weirdest stuff |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|01:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rent | ] |
I just don't know why everything has to change. Why do people really grow up. I mean honestly has anything ever really good come of growing up and becoming an whole other person. I don't see any reason why we should. I am just sad right now. This year has been about growing up for a lot of us and I am not sure I was really ready to face it. I just want the simplicity o childhood back in my life. When people didn't let you down. I just feel like everyone has gone through this massive change but me. I'm still the same but no one really likes that same little girl anymore. I miss feeling comfortable. I worry to much about people and their happiness but it just really hurts me to see other people hurt that I care about so much. There are several friends I am speaking of not just one. I want to help but I can't if no one will let me in. Let me see the people you have become. I just feel like people changed and grew up and I didn't. I can't stop these negative thoughts that keep coming up. I just want it to be like old times. Life is meant to be amazing and I want to be that way. |
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| I never get anything done!!! |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|04:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | America's Next Top Model | ] |
I have been trying to study all day long but all I have really done is watch America's Next Top Model. I love that show. I just might fail my test tomorrow but we shall see. I wish I had done all this yesterday but I was to busy watching America's Next top model! I really hate my life. hee hee not really. It's actually quite nice.
So I'm in a show now. I am so happy. I get a chance to really show this department that yes Katie Mitchell is a good little actress. My scene is tomorrow and I want it to be amazing! I can only hope.
I don't feel like it's going to be Christmas Soon. I am not in the Christmas Sprite at all. I'm trying........I don't know.
Going Shopping with Lindsey now. Not something I really should be doing…whatever. |
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| It's almost over |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|01:07 am] |
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Don't want to go to sleep right now even though I have got to get up and study tomrrow. Alot! Talking to JB on line. Having a good conversation actually. Weird. Lifes weird. I don't know how I am going to fix all this but I am determined to be happy! |
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| I'm done...for now |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|02:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rent | ] |
Just got back from my last class. It feels good. I only have two tests a performance and my jury left. And half of my second year of school is over! I will be a junior when I come back from Christmas. Not that it matters but it's crazy just the same.
My Jury is Monday. I am going to be amazing. I am tired of having great rehearsals and average performances. No more of that. I have a feeling this next semester is going to be so important. I am finally feeling like I am a part of this Department. Talked to dr young today. I'm expecting there to be no timid Katie in this Jury. I know I have amazing things ahead of me. My life will be exciting and full. I wonder if people really believe me when I say I am going to move to New York after graduation. I want to push the limits. I don't want to play the sweet little girl my whole life. I want to feel actual emotion when I perform. I've felt it before. This scene from proof is really good for me because I do have emotional connections to the character I'm playing. I want to do something moving. Something controversial. Something that changes emotions. Makes people and myself question their ideas and feel something new. Isn't that why I do this?
I guess I am in a good mood right now. I'm feeling powerful. Loved. I don't have to many of these good entries. But there are more to come. I will work harder this semester. Jan term is a perfect time to push myself. I will actually have the time to find what I am really capable of. I'm a talented girl and I am going to push myself. I'm starting right now. |
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| whats wrong? |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|01:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evenessence | ] |
I have no idea what is wrong with me. I jsut can't be nice. I want to feel the same but something has changed but I can't put my finger on it. Things used to be much simpler and I miss that. Sometimes I still feel like I am going to go back to my real life on day, this is all just a trial and I decided I didn't like it. Is that the way the rest of my life will be? I've become such a bitch. |
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| Sleepy |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|09:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | VH1 | ] |
I don't feel like it's Christmas time. I don't see anything Christmasy. I wish we had a tree in here. I'm bored. I'm going to an improve show at 10:30 but everyone was busy up until then and I didn't want to stay at the dance show after I did box office...so here I am. It's kinda nice though just hang out by myself and watch tv...somthing I never get to do anymore. I miss VH1.
lifes good. I'm happy. I am really trying to love the life I have been given. Brian and are a little better. Tuesday night really hurt me and I'm still getting over it. But we have to be happy for Christmas. |
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